District 9

For the first time in a long time, I actually payed to see a movie in the theater instead of downloading it. In the 20 minutes of commercials and 10 new Disney/Pixar movie trailers, one trailer stood out from the rest, District 9. It started off with documentary style interviews of people talking about what you think is a new minority migrating into a part of the world for which they clearly do not belong. Like celebrities visiting 3rd world countries collecting babies for their own personal collection. The trailer then reveals that these new squatters are not human, but of alien origin. The last bit shows one of the extra terrestrials being interrogated by what seems to be the military. This is a new take on the alien invasion theme used by so many other movies. It actually shows the aliens as having emotion and a sense of humanity. The clip gave an insight on what it would realistically be like if aliens landed on an unwelcoming Earth. Forced into slavery while their technology is reverse-engineered for our personal use. All the while being imprisoned in impoverished and disgusting conditions resembling those of Slumdog Millionaire. Since they are not human, you can assume they would have no human rights as well. There are undertones of poverty and racial issues throughout the trailer, but I'm not smart enough to try and explain them any further.

The Bro-Rape Guys Hit the Big Leagues

Out of all the low budget sketch comedy groups you find on YouTube, the Derrick Comedy team were always one of the best; although maybe they could have picked a better name...

If you don't remember them, let me remind you: there was their magnum opus Bro-Rape, then there was this one, oh yeah and this one too. They have plenty more, but those three will be enough for now.

According to Paste Magazine, their feature length movie, Mystery Team , just got picked up by Roadside Attractions and we'll all be seeing it on the big screen. The movie looks pretty promising. Also, I just found out that their most enthusiastic bro-rapist, Donald Glover, has been writing for 30 Rock and actually performed on the show. I have to say I'm really happy to see a bunch of funny dudes who started with YouTube and College Humor videos to be breaking into the industry. It's a beacon of hope to the rest of us who watch contemporary comedy and say: " I could do better". Maybe someday I'll get off my ass and start out the way they did, but for now I'll just watch Bro-Rape for the 100th time:

Don't Sit Next to Dennis

I've only recently started watching a lot of horror movies, so I'm definitely no expert. But I can honestly say that I already know what the best scene from any horror movie is. I've known for years, and it has nothing to do with amputated dicks, slit achilles tendons, or Meatloaf cutting a jersey shaped slab of his own skin off. It's from the classic Cabin Fever, and its about pancakes.

More Free Movies for CheapSkates

If you're like me and you have Comcast OnDemand but none of the good channels, you probably waste a good twenty minutes of your life skimming the free movie list every once in a while. Since I am going to look all the time anyway, I might as well make it easy on the rest of you broke-ass movie lovers. 

Right now what's worth checking out in the free movie list:

Chopper - Bio of Mark "Chopper" Read, a criminal celebrity who only could have thrived so well on an island colonized by another country's prisoners. Fucking great movie with Eric Bana playing Chopper. Cinematography shows some effort on their part, before movies like Domino and Smokin' Aces totally played that shit out.

Gonna Get You Sucka - Before the Wayans became total whores. This is a classic example of how movies that mock other movies can actually be good. We're way too accustomed to the Scary Movie franchise which is pretty much garbage now, and they just keep shitting them out because there's always a new pool of 13 year old movie-goers and stoners.

Born Into Brothels - I haven't actually seen it but I know it won a lot of awards. It's a documentary about the children of prostitutes in Calcutta. If you give a fuck about shit you will appreciate it. 

Candyman - Fucking classic horror. Nothing else to say. Just watch it.

Capote - Haven't seen it, but I'm sure some people will be interested.

Donnie Brasco - Johnny Depp as an undercover cop. It's a classic for most fans of mob movies. 

Foxy Brown - Haha. Blaxploitation should never have happened but if their going to throw it on demand we may as well watch it. 

Gummo - If you've seen it once, you know you gotta watch it again. The director/writer of Kids dropped this on the film world and the jury is still out on it. Lots of poor white trash drowning cats if you're into that sort of shit. But honestly this movie is gold for all those who like their weird cinema. 

Jury Duty - It's bad don't watch it. I felt like I had to acknowledge that it was there, but we all know that it's garbage. There will always be some people though, who want to get stoned and watch a Pauly Shore jump off. So that's for you.

Short Circuit - Steve fucking Guttenberg and a robot with human emotions! If you remember this gem from your childhood it might be worth revisiting if you're bored enough. 

The Fifth Element - We all still remember it, but it doesn't get any less weird each time you see it.

New World Order - A first in conspiracy theory documentaries. This is for both sides of the argument; if you want to make fun of them you'll especially enjoy this. They actually kind of mock the people or at least let them show their own eccentricities.   

Pumpkin Head - Classic monster flick.

Saw 3 - You know what it is. Not my thing, but it's there for those who like that shit.

Repulsion - Old school movie from Roman Polanski. A documentary just recently piqued my interest in Polanski, more for his personal life, but I've made it a point to try and see his movies. Haven't seen this one.

Throw Momma From The Train - I don't care who agrees this is a good fucking movie. It's a weird old school comedy with Danny Devito and Billy Crystal.

-J.O.