Under the Semen

We've all heard of the classic Disney movie subliminal sex references.  If you haven't (or have somehow forgotten due to some mix of maturity and the fact that you can now access porn instead of looking for a cartoon chub), let's review.  The genie in Aladdin tells the dude and Jasmine to be "good teenagers" and "take off your clothes."  Flowers that Simba lies on in The Lion King's love scene (?) fly up to spell the word "SEX."  But I think my favorite is The Little Mermaid.

Not only does the priest get a stiffy (hm...) while about to marry the Prince with that octopus bitch, but the cover pretty much speaks for the utter dirtiness of the Disney animators...and perhaps explains how they subliminally turned us into nymphos.  

There is a.  Blatant.  Dick.  Drawn right on the front.

That's right, boys and girls.  A giant glittering disco stick as a turret of the underwater palace.  Check your copy if you don't believe me.  You know you have one, even if you want to tell people it's "your little sister's."  So the next time you tell your friend that a pipe looks like a dick, remember that it was Walt Disney who taught us that sex is everywhere-and so are cocks-and tell him to go watch this movie.

"Darling, it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me!" -Sebastian, The Little Mermaid, "Under the Sea"