I honestly never thought this day would come. Just the other day, I was talking about how excited I was to see what kind of nutty shit Mike would be getting into five years from now. I envisioned him riding an ostrich to the grocery store, wearing a goalie mask and a kimono. I imagined a police report detailing a pale, emaciated man masturbating into a sombrero on a busy playground. Anything was possible with this guy.
I figured his lunacy would come full-circle and he'd start nailing broads. He would grant an exclusive interview to Rolling Stone, in which he would use the word "pussy" 57 times. He would throw insane parties where you constantly ran the risk of walking in on Michael getting a handjob. The partying phase would quickly come to an end after an aspiring model is bludgeoned to death with the Elephant Man's femur.
Is Bubbles still alive? That fucking guy should write a book. Everybody underestimates the monkey. They see everything. EVERYTHING.
My favorite part of the picture I used is not Michael's suit. It's the fact that it's impossible to determine whether some of the kids with him are retarded or just way more asian-looking than the others.
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