When you think of comic books most everybody says Batman, X-Men, Superman and the occasional weird anime comics with naked school girls getting
raped by demonic tentacles. But nowadays there are some pretty good ones out there that have gotten me back into comics. Comics are considered lame and nerdy and hinder my ability to get laid I know... but hear me out.
When I was a kid I had a limited knowledge of comics and stuck to the basics of the aforementioned X-Men, and Spider-Man volumes with some DC characters like Batman and Superman thrown randomly into my collection, which was not too shabby for a 10 year old. But alas, I grew out of the adventures of Wolverine, Cyclops, Nightcrawler (most badass btw) Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, and Peter Parker like all maturing boys should do. Actually I just became more involved with partying and drugs and alcohol, so my money went into that. But I digress...
Fast forward to last year, while at a party chatting with a friend I haven't seen in a long time, the drunken conversation somehow got to the topic of Zombies. I was then informed that a comic had been out for a while called
The Walking Dead, which I will get to in a minute. So I went to the all-powerful internet to further my knowledge of The Walking Dead. What I found was an amazingly well-written storyline that in my opinion had some very memorable and
fucked up moments. (And yes, that spoon was used to gouge out his eye). Luckily the series had been going for a while so I was able to download a butt-load of issues from some torrent sites. Instantly, I was hooked. The story begins as our "hero"
Police Officer Rick Grimes, wakes up from the hospital after being shot in the line of duty. He has no idea what happened or where he is, and worst of all the Zombie Apocalypse has already begun. He barely escapes the hospital and comes the the horror that his wife and son
Carl are missing and possibly flesh eating zombies. So he does what any family-man on a mission in a zombie infested town does... grabs a shitload of guns and ammo and sets out to find his family. I won't spoil the details but they are happily reunited for a time. They meet up with some other survivors who are just trying to make it in this crazy cannibal world the planet has now become. For a time they seem to be doing an OK job surviving and keeping sane. At least some of their party keep their sanity
for the most part. They stumble upon a prison and for a while life is good. They are reasonably protected by the prison walls and have several facilities at their disposal. At least as good as it can be with the constant threat of getting your brains eaten by a rotting, walking corpse. Some messed up stuff happens at the prison but again, I won't spoil the details. After a while they become restless and set out to find more survivors to maybe try and rebuild civilization. But what they find is anything but civil. They encounter another group that have barricaded a whole town and are relatively safe for the time being. Safe from zombies at least. The town is run by a guy who calls himself The Governor. A sadistic man who used fear and murder to somehow rise to power. This monster was doing several fucked-up things that I have never expected to read in a comic book. For instance he had a bunch of severed zombie heads in fish tanks in his room and
pretended they were tv's. He would keep his zombified daughter chained up in his room and feed her body parts, which might be understandable for a parent to not want their child to die, but it was not paternal love that kept her around. There were weird child molestation undertones which were later confirmed when he pulled out her teeth so he could
make out with her without being bitten. Among those crazy things you could add torture, rape, and
cutting off Rick's hand to The Governor's repertoire. He also would hold gladiatorial games for his own entertainment that would pit a human against a horde of the undead. 99% of the time the undead would win. Don't worry though... he got his in the end. This storyline has been the main arc of the series so far. The comic itself is black and white except for the covers,
which are in full color. The art is amazing and shows detail and emotion worthy of any gallery. And usually at the end of every issue is a portrait of a random zombie covered in
blood and
gore. I highly suggest you give this comic a chance. There are several books out that have numerous issues jammed into a sort of encyclopedia of the series. There are currently 61 issues out, and I bet almost all of them are online for download, if you know where to look. Easily a 10/10. I will most definitely be getting all the issues from now on until the end, and you should too.
Next on the list is
Y: The Last Man. Hands down, the best comic series I have ever read. The story is about a 22 year-old amateur escape artist named
Yorick Brown. The story follows his misadventures after a
mysterious epidemic kills every mammal with a Y chromosome in the entire world, except for Yorick and his Capuchin monkey,
Ampersand. For those that were wondering the ampersand is that thing above the 7 on the keyboard. Yorick and Ampersand, along with
Agent 355, an ass-kicking government agent from a super secret branch of the government called the Culper Ring go with Dr. Allison Mann, a brilliant geneticist. The four venture out to find Yorick's girlfriend Beth, who was in Australia at the time, who Yorick was about to propose to minutes before the epidemic wiped out half of humanity. Agent 355 and Dr. Mann are also trying to escort Yorick safely to Dr. Mann's main laboratory halfway across the world so they can try to save humanity. Several obstacles get in the way of their goals including crazy bitches trying to kidnap and/or kill Yorick and Ampersand. One group that stood out was the Daughters of the Amazon. These brainwashing dykes have totally lost it and see the epidemic as God's will. Their initiation is very severe. Every Amazonian had to
cut off one of their titties to be accepted into the group. Which Yorick's sister, whose name was Hero, was recruited into. Yorick's trials and tribulations stretched over a couple years. Some filled with happiness, but most filled with sadness and death. It was a little while before he was
finally exposed for being the last male alive. And things only got worse from there. I give this comic an 11/10 because of so much written in these pages. The writing is awesome and I found myself laughing out loud at some of the situations and wise-ass remarks made by Yorick. Some of the best
art I have seen lies
within these pages. Not whatever this new modern art bullshit which looks like someone drank a bunch of paint and
diarrhea-ed all over a canvas, I'm talking about
real art. The
covers of almost all the issues try to incorporate the letter
Y in them, and are some of the
coolest scenes I have ever seen. I know I am jumping on the comic community bandwagon saying that this comic is badass, but I am doing so because it really
is that good. I command you to find it and read it right now.
Last but not least,
Preacher. This is the most fucked-up comic I have ever read. I can think of at least 4 guys who had their dicks cut off, bit off, ripped off, and chemically burned off. The story follows down and out hard drinkin'
Reverend Jesse Custer. Who one day while in service at church, suddenly gets
possessed by Genesis, the spawn of a demon and angel doing the
no pants dance. As soon as Genesis is born, God high tails it out of the kingdom of heaven. Genesis is said to have the same power level as God and the Lord is scared shitless by this. After everyone in the church but Jesse is vaporized, the good reverend goes out on a quest to find God and ask him how he could abandon so many people who blindly believe in him, and try to make him go back to Heaven. He is armed with what is called
"The Word". Which means his eyes turn red, and so does the word bubble text, and whatever he tells you to do, you fuckin' do it. No matter how messed up it is. He told a cop to go fuck himself, so he cut off his own wiener and shoved it up his own ass. He told another guy to stay on the beach until he counted to three million grains of sand. It took him about 8 months and totally messed him up for the rest of his life. He is joined by his estranged girlfriend
Tulip O'Hare. She is a super tough gun-toting no-bullshit bitch who had the unfortunate experience of accidentally killing her father while he was
dropping a deuce on a hunting trip when she was a teenager. They are also joined by
Cassidy, a 200 year old Irish vampire that drinks like a fish and has done every drug imaginable. And at one point he
sucked dick for coke much like Bob Saget. Throughout the series it seems like Jesse is personally pissed at God. Which he has a perfect right to be. His totally fucked up childhood
raised by a sadistic grandmother, and two of the most fucked up rednecks you will ever see. Jody, a man who is basically impervious to pain who beats Jesse senseless every day, who also killed his parents right in front of him, and TC, a person who has a personal mission in life to bang every animal and inanimate object in the world. This comic has the most unique characters I have ever seen in a story. Such as
Ass-Face, a teenager who tried to blow his brains out much like his beloved Kurt Cobain. But instead of killing himself, he only grazed his own face with a .12 gauge shotgun and mangled his features forever. Almost every time someone would see Ass-Face for the first time, they would barf all over the place right in front of him. The main antagonist for most of the series was Herr Starr, a sadistic German high ranking assassin in a secret society called The Grail established to preserve the bloodline of Jesus Christ. The bloodline ended when Herr Starr declared himself the leader of The Grail and dropped the super obese bulimic
Allfather on top of the last relative of Jesus who is now retarded from all the years of inbreeding to keep the bloodline pure. Herr Starr definitely
got it the worst throughout the comic. His bald head was cut by Jesse to look like a giant wang, he was one of the dudes who lost his manhood, and he also lost a leg and and eye before his demise. Oh, and he was anally raped a couple times too... yikes. Some minor memorable characters include two former servants of God who come to earth to
sample all pleasures humanity has to offer since God left heaven. Two "sex detectives" who were hired to find Jesse but just ended up raping everyone they questioned about his whereabouts. And many others. This series was very good. The character development and situations were very well written. I give it a 9/10. It did lose a point because of times in the story where is was going purely for shock value as opposed to quality, but still very awesome.
Yeah... so that's it. Hopefully you were inspired to take a gander at these titles. I guarantee you will not be dissapointed.
